I picked up Alex Fix near Sunset Place & we drove out to S. Miami Avenue near US-1. We got our bikes off the rack and began our ride towards the Design District to meet up with a few other cyclists for our weekly Wednesday night ride. Oh, what an evening of mishaps was to come.

1. My tube exploded on our ride to the meet-up destination (BOOOOM! everyone within our vicinity at Mary Brickell Village thought it was a drive-by, Alex included)

2. My Continental Ultra Sport tire was trashed. Three to four separate holes, one big enough to fit a small penis (see below). These tires are awful, I knew they were about to give in any day now, I should've packed an extra. I made a phone call to Ferny who was expecting us and asked if he had a spare tube & tire. He did! I told him we would be slightly late & to wait for us.

*Normally I repair all my flats (snakebites /punctures) on the road but an exploded tube unfortunately is not worth the effort to be repaired, the hole is usually too large for a patch to make any difference.



3. I had to borrow Alex's bike to get back to my car. Alex's bike is way too big for me, so tall that if I clip in I can't pedal while sitting down as my legs can't reach. I had to pedal standing up the entire distance, luckily it wasn't that far. I looked like one of these guys below but on a Cannondale track bike.



4. I got to my car & drove back to where Alex awaited me with my immobile bike. We placed the bike on the rack & drove to the Design District I-195 underpass.

5. Upon our arrival Ferny presented me with a 19mm clincher. Hmmm.. I might be in for a rough ride tonight.

5.5 I placed the 700x19c tire & new tube onto rim, inflated, & we were ready to roll, just needed to remove the pump from presta valve. PSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHH! The Presta built-in valve cap blew off! A first for me, I have never experienced this in 15+ years of tube changing. I'm not sloppy with hand pumps, I blamed this on a faulty valve-cap. Kenda!

6. I responded.. "YOU GOT TO BE F%#KING KIDDING ME!"

6.5 "No seriously.. this did not just happen! right?"

6.9 "I have another tube but the valve is not long enough for a deep sectioned rim" - Ferny


*Photo by Franky

7. We decided to drive to S. Beach at the advise of Franky who let us know Fritz's Skate Bike & Surf‎ was open until 10pm. I purchased a new tube for $6, inflated up my tire & we were ready to roll. We drove back to the Design District. Only 3 of us remained. Keep in mind no actual bike riding had taken place yet. Well, unless you count the "Baby Raptor" on the Cannondale. (see #3)

8. Finally we get to ride!! We decided to go to Key Biscayne by-way of NE 2nd Ave/Brickell. As we approached the Rickenbacker Causeway we noticed construction, lots of it. There was a cloud of dust & debris in the air. I squinted my eyes & covered my nose and still this stuff was unavoidable. As we got closer to the William Powell Bridge we noticed they had only 1 lane open. Basically all the vehicles headed east were driving on the far right, the bike lane! It was brutal, I've never really had a difficult time going up this particular bridge before. I'm not sure if it was all the junk I had just inhaled, the thought of all the encroaching vehicles behind us, or the fact that we had sprinted there from the Design District. Either way we made it through safely but a bit perplexed by the struggle we faced.



9. Ferny & I decided to head back towards PS14 & Alex rode home. On our way back into downtown we saw Mafe riding around. After a few blocks I heard a brief click-clack & she took an abrupt spill. Her chain had came off, I had never witnessed this before on a fixed-gear bike. I was surprised it didn't damage any spokes. Pretty scary situation. I tensioned her chain a bit as it appeared to be too loose & I inflated her front & rear tires as they were low on air. We then proceeded to PS14 where $1 beers & FREE pizza awaits. Got there at 11:53pm just in time to get 2 beers before their 12am $1 beer cut-off. They had Power Pizza, cupcakes & a piñata that was filled with penis straws (see #2), Star Wars toys & raunchy pages from old Hustler magazines for Benton's b-day. Just what I needed after this hectic night.


*Photo by Franky

10. Ferny had a slow leak and had to insert a new tube @ PS14.. we were on a roll.

So many obstacles, but we were very determined to ride tonight. Even if it was just three of us.